On occasion of a tired little girl…
* Little Girl
Tell me a story. I can’t sleep
* Bruce
Once upon a time there was a little babushka with a tiny green dress… very short.
* Little Girl
why did i think you’d be helpful… now keep going.
* Bruce
When Raphael the woodcutter spotted her in the woods gathering herbs and mushrooms he immediately thought of his great Uncle Gus the transvestite
* Little Girl
oh my! pins and needles.
* Bruce
Gus was renowned for his Mata Hari impression of Winston Churchill posing nude for Paul Rubens
* Little Girl
of course he was…and then?
* Bruce
Raphael immediately took his clothes off, which of course the little babe misconstrued… being a feminist and all. She screamed in high C for approximately 5.39 seconds
* Little Girl
big lungs, i suspect.
* Bruce
Unfortunately for her the sustained expulsion of air caused her bosom to swell until the tiny green dress could not longer contain it. This the woodcutter immediately misconstrued… being lusty Russo-Spaniard and all…
* Little Girl
damn synthetic fibers.
* Bruce
So Raphael hid his gaze, raised his sword and ran blushing into the woods… which had of course been chopped down earlier… and thus providing little in the way of protecting his dignity.
* Little Girl
small dignity, eh,
* Bruce
At that very moment the little baboosh, whose name was Consuela Maria Carmelita Barbara Linda Teena Barberellainski, found a book sitting in a tree
* Little Girl
you have to stop! i may laugh to death.
* Bruce
It was a biography of Gus Gustaphon, the famous politician and part time transvestite who had once secretly planted all these trees in order to provide natural fibres so he could hand make a new line of clothing for Alsatian midget bisexuals
* Little Girl
did not see that coming.
* Bruce
At this point Teena was waaaaaay more interested in the idea of natural fibres gently sliding up between her thighs than Rafe’s little dignity
* Little Girl
the vixen!
* Bruce
The tiny hairs of the woodfibre stocking would caress her with every step. Causing a permanent blush to colour her cheeks and save her hundreds in blush and other makeup related colourants.
* Little Girl
practical and kinky.
* Bruce
Rafe of course noticed he was no longer the center of attention. This caused his… attention to be not so rigid. “What HO” he shouted indignantly (as he had little dignity left)
Tee glanced up and saw Rafe’s mighty sword. OMFG she thought. Have you been cutting down all the trees with that?
* Little Girl
seriously, stop.
* Bruce
Huh he replied… I don’t use this thing on trees. It’s much too ….big! I use this… he replied whipping out his broad and shiny man axe
How dare you Teen cried as she ran towards him furious. Do you not know about the history of this once mighty and solid wood!
* Little Girl
am i old enough to hear the rest?
* Bruce
Why no Rafe replied. Its just that I cum here to visit sometimes and relieve my frustration by swing this axe — and sometimes the sword — around
* Little Girl
ah yes, swinging out the frustrations…
* Bruce
Why sir, she said demurely her now naked bosom heaving from the exertion of shouting and running at the same time, this is a sacred wood meant to grow fine hairs and not to be plowed by the likes of you
* Bruce
This very spot was once the garden of the infamous Gus Gustaphason, my long lost true love who lived many years before I was born. He and only he holds the key to my heart, thighs and other unspecified orifices
* Little Girl
nicely done.
* Bruce
“Uncle Gus” Rafe exclaimed! He was my genetic identical twin who taught me to swing my first sword in these very woods
* Little Girl
me thinks the climax is near
* Bruce
Ah cried Te! So you must stop the raping of these bushes so that they may grow and fulfill his fantasies
* Little Girl
bring it home.
* Bruce
But what of my fantasy says Rafe. I dream of growing a crop of hemp here surrounded by a magic mushroom grove where all can live in peace and harmony, away from the troubles of the evil garment industry and their non organic industrial complex!
* Little Girl
wow. if he’s into commune lunches, i know a girl for him…
* Bruce
Aaaaah cooed T as she brushed a dogwood twig up and down her thigh, perhaps we can work together to rid the world of synthetics and non-freetrade cotton!
* Little Girl
any reason she keeps losing letters along with her inhibitions?
* Bruce
Yes declared Raphael. I will use you to plant my seed. My ultimate destiny is to grow my own version of the modern, well-dressed man and you shall be my instrument of destiny.
* Little Girl
oh, that old line.
* Bruce
Aaaaaaah take me t screamed! and Rafe pulled out his mighty pen and immediately had his way with her future. Writing a contract that forever bound her to his stumps and left her chained to his grove
* Little Girl
dirty conformists
* Bruce
And with that they had sex, but it was kinda boring, so they went off to join Greenpeace, buy some hemp clothes and forever wonder what could have been if only they had had a good writer like Little Girl or Al or anybody else…
The End
Now you tell it to Al
* Little Girl
thanks for indulging me. i will.
* Bruce
Tired yet?
* Little Girl
no, but something else just as good: happy. g’night to you.
* Bruce
ummmm I hope not happy like Tee… Ciao for now
Little Girl
Little Girl is offline.