macblaze.ca

12:14

“Get it? Get it? Star Wars, Luke, Darth Vader: ‘Luke, I am your Father!” The looks on everyone’s faces threatened to send the beaver into spasms and as he visible tried to control himself Edward murmured “Hmmmmmm, I think I see a bit of the puzzle previously obscured. Yes, I believe I do.”

“Beaver. You’ve had you little joke. Now please inform me why this gentleman is here. And you, sir, come in, come in. No use hulking in the shadows like some sort of phantom. Its all about shining a light now and it will be easier on everyone if you stepped in and let you daughter fetch you a beverage.”

“Caroline? Why don’t you step into the kitchen and collect yourself and get our new guest something to quench his thirst.”

Edward shifted to the center of the small room as the tall weatherbeaten man stepped in and sat in the wicker chair with a creak. “May I ask you name sir? Perhaps introductions all around.”

The man grimaced and his eyes darted around the room. Eventually he let out a sigh and grunted, “Moskevitch, Jason Moskevitch. And I don’t know none of you all except that beaver and Carrie. Not sure if I really do want to know. Things are fine as is, no use cocking them up I says.”

The beaver looked sadly at the tall man in the ratty chair and shook his head. “Sorry dude, no can do. It’s almost time for the big reveal and we’ve run out of sand for us to stick our head in. Buck up, it won’t hurt ‘but a might’.”

12:13

“No, no. no…” squeaked Caroline, ” I won’t! He can’t make me…”

“Edward. You are mistaken. It was I who had been making introductions before the… disturbances, shall we call them.” The beaver had started to reagin the smugness around the eyes and the expression looked to conquer his whole face if he wasn’t careful. “Shall I continue or would you prefer…?”

“My mistake. But then I generally am mistaken about anything concerning you young kit are I not? Pray continue.”

“Yes, you don’t know a lot… about me, do you. But let’s not dwell, My final guest is someone we all know, well with the exception of you young miss.” Rowan responded to the beaver’s unctuous tone with a moue of disdain. “Yes, even if we thought otherwise, we all have an intimate acquaintance with him.”

The beaver turned to Caroline. “Please relax, I have no intention of letting your father take you home again. Time and trouble have made that a certainty.”

“And as for you Gareth, to paraphrase a most famous sire, ‘He is your father!'” The beaver’s silky tone finally cracked and he started giggling gleefully to himself at the sight of Gareth’s stunned expression.

12:12

It was all getting a bit confusing. The timeshifts, the cross-universe warping, the breaking of the 4th wall, the 5th dimension and the 6th senses: all of it was borderline unbearable for an organized bunny.

The bloody beaver seemed to be enjoying himself though. smirking in the corner and fuelling the fire whenever he could, it was almost as if he didn’t want it to end. But all things come to an end you ludicrous lagomorph and I believe it is time to establish a more… linear… order to this pseudo modernist stream-of-consciousness crappola I have been forced to endure.

“Ahem!” Edward cleared his throat loudly. “Can everyone please sit down and resume their previously silent attitudes!”

“You, my dear Caroline, please stand up and stop blubbering… Yes, I do know who is at the door; we will deal with that in a moment. Beaver, please stop that ridiculous snorting and do try to be a bit more civilized. Gareth, Rowan on the couch if you please; time’s a’wasting.”

Edward scanned the room as the various occupants shuffled around. He spared a hard glare for the beaver under his pile of quilts when it looked like he might object to the usurpation of his fun, but the beaver most intelligently took the hint and settled back to watch quietly.

“Now, Caroline. Blow your nose dear. Good, shall we continue? I believe you were about to tell the room who our mysterious visitor was…”

“Everyone RELAX!” the beaver intoned loudly overtop of the noise of people panicking. “Grab a drink and just relax.”

Sequence 02

<pause>

Pass the popcorn eh.

And get me another beer before the movie starts…

Get it yourself. Nimwad!

More-or-less-0n!!

<play>

“Okay, places everyone!”

“Scene 12:7—Take 2 and…”

“Roll ’em. Wait for it… wait for it… wait for it…”

“ACTION!”

12:8

“Hey.”

“What?”

“Did you know yesterday was Pearl Harbor Day?”

“Really? Nope, didn’t know that.”

“Yup. Glenn Reigel’s birthday too. Coincidence that though.”

“Coincidence? Right. Still, Pearl Harbor: sneak attack, bombs planes, desperate defence… must of been a tough day.”

“Tough? I guess. Ya, tough.”

“Pass the pizza ok.”

12:7

“It’s funny,” thought Gareth, “this is all a little too disjointed to be real.”

The rumbling hadn’t stopped with the excitement at the door. In fact it kept getting ominously closer and closer, like some sort of attack or invasion was imminent. But that was ridiculous, who would attack us? We have done nothing to…

“Oh my god!” screamed Rowan. “It’s the Japanese! We’ve gone too far and they think we’ve infringed on their copyrights. But how… how could they launch an attack like this with no warning?”

“Rowan, Gareth. Clear the doorway,” barked Edward immediately assuming command. “Beaver. You head for the street and see what you can do about delaying the warriors. “Caroline, there’s no more time for this. Take our guest to bedroom and see what you can scrounge up for defenses.”

Edward took in the old furniture and tacky anime art on the walls. “I’m going to set up here and coordinate. Beaver, keep in on the loop.”

“Now MOVE it people! Lives will depend on this!”