Mr. Doug Elinski , Alberta MLA says:<\/p>\n
Get used to it gents, this is your life, first grad, then engagement party, then the wedding, the birth of the kids, all about the girls. If you are lucky, then like me, you will be able at some time to take flying lessons and drive a cool pick up, but only after the girls move away and start presenting you with grandchildren.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Gah… just kill me now…<\/p>\n
The entire post from the Google Cache<\/a>:<\/p>\n
Saturday, June 13, 2009
\n<\/h2>\nGrad speeches<\/a>
\n<\/h3>\nEdmonton Calder does not have a lot a High Schools, (one exactly) but we do have several Junior High Schools and this week is the beginning of the Junior High Grad season.
\nI give the same speech because it is a pretty good one and the kids like
\nit. I like the kids, the boys, look like 14 and 15 year olds, just a
\nlittle cleaner and less apt to lean heavily to cool. The girls, are
\ngorgeous, not grown up but certainly getting there.
\nBabies with pretty satin dresses, bouffant hairdo’s trying to walk in heels
\nfor the first time. It’s quite a leap from runners to stilettos and I
\nthink this is a very special womanish transition that men, do not
\nunderstand. My daughters all did this and I did not understand so like
\na lot of big gatherings involving food and speeches, it’s more about
\nthe girls than the boys.<\/p>\nGet used to it gents, this is your life, first grad, then engagement party,
\nthen the wedding, the birth of the kids, all about the girls. If you
\nare lucky, then like me, you will be able at some time to take flying
\nlessons and drive a cool pick up, but only after the girls move away
\nand start presenting you with grandchildren.<\/p>\nMy advice to girls is even simpler:
\nLadies, always smile when you walk into a room, there is nothing a man wants
\nless than a woman scowling because he thinks he is going to get shit
\nfor something and has no idea what. Men are attracted to smiles, so
\nsmile don’t give me that “treated equal” stuff, if you want equal it
\ncomes in little packages at Starbucks.<\/p>\nHere is my speech, I ad lib a bit and I stole most of it but the kids love it.<\/p>\n
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 09 wear sunscreen.
\nIf I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT. <\/p>\nThe long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas
\nthe rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering
\nexperiences.
\nI will dispense this advice now. <\/p>\nEnjoy the power and beauty of your youth, never mind.<\/p>\n
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth for a long time
\nso take a lot of pictures tonight and in 20 years you’ll look at them
\nand recall, in a way you can’t grasp, now how much possibility lay
\nbefore you and how fabulous you really look.<\/p>\nYou will realize soon how cute young ladies are trying to walk in heels for the first time.<\/p>\n
Everyone take a picture of someone right now. <\/p>\n
You are not as fat as you imagine. <\/p>\n
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
\neffective as trying to solve a math problem by chewing bubblegum.<\/p>\nThe real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your
\nworried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on Tuesday.<\/p>\nSing.<\/p>\n
I for one strongly support having a personal theme song and if you want
\nmy opinion there is nothing better than a good old Disney classic like
\nthe Dwarf mining song, Hi Ho Hi Ho it\u2019s off to work we go……. from
\nSnow White.<\/p>\nI sing it every day on my way into the legislature. <\/p>\n
Do one thing every day that scares you. <\/p>\n
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. < Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're\nbehind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself. \n\nRemember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing\nthis, tell everyone you know because they won\u2019t know. \n\nFloss, turns out the dental hygienist was right.\n\nKeep your old love letters, I suggest that in our new technology age you keep every letter someone writes you.\n\nWrite someone a letter in long hand, put it in an envelope and but a stamp on it. They will cherish it forever. \n\nStretch, turn out the Occupational therapist was right. \n\nDon't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. \n\nThe most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do\nwith their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know\nstill don't. \n\nDrink lots of milk, unless you are a Vegan, in which case take calcium. \n\nBe kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone. \n\nMaybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you\nwon't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken\non your 75th wedding anniversary.\n\nWhatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. \n\nEnjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what\nother people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.\n\n\nDance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. \n\nDo not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. \n\nGet to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good. \n\nUnderstand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.\nWork hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the\nolder you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were\nyoung. \n\nRead the directions, even if you don't follow them \n\nLive in Toronto once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Vancouver once, but leave before it makes you soft. \n\nTravel. \n\nAccept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will\nphilander, you will get old, and when you do you'll remember when you\nwere young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children\nrespected their elders. \n\nRespect your elders.\n\nDon't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe\nyou'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might\nrun out. \n\nBe nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. \n\nDon't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 100. \n\nYou will walk away from this step in the journey of your life with only one\nthing that makes you different from everyone else who is doing the same\nthing.\n\nYou are losing your status as popular kid or weirdo and\nit\u2019s going to take some getting used to because while you and some of\nyour friends have been together since age 5, you are now starting to go\nyour separate ways.\n\nYou might be the popular kid, but I\nguarantee that in 30 years none of the folks in this room will remember\nwhether you were the pretty one or not. They will just be glad to see\nyou because when they see you they will see just a tiny little sliver\nof themselves and this will make them feel very good.\n\nWhat you leave with today is your own ability to help everyone one in this room stay connected to where they are right now.\n\nSo stand up and take another picture of someone else.\n\nGood luck and thank you for letting me share my thoughts\n\nBut do trust me on the sunscreen\n\nLiberated and amended heavilly in someplaces from the Class of 97<\/em> by Chicago newspaper columnist, Mary Schmich.
\nPosted by Doug Elniski<\/b> at 7:11 AM<\/a> 0 comments<\/p>\n