{"id":4404,"date":"2013-04-20T08:25:13","date_gmt":"2013-04-20T14:25:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/macblaze.ca\/?p=4404"},"modified":"2013-04-21T08:56:41","modified_gmt":"2013-04-21T14:56:41","slug":"420","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/macblaze.ca\/?p=4404","title":{"rendered":"4:20"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>4:20<\/p>\n<p>The first thought the beaver had as his head cleared after the collision was, \u201cOh gross, I&#8217;ve got a rat up my ass!\u201d The second thought was, \u201cOh gross, I\u2019ve got a <b>rat<\/b> up my ass!\u201d As a result of these two very similar thoughts, the beaver jumped \u2014 in as much as a short-legged beaver with a rat up his ass can jump \u2014 almost straight up and swiveled in an ungainly heel turn to settle between the slightly flattened rat and the stairs.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGaagh!\u201d the beaver spat, \u201cI hate rats.\u201d He backed away slowly through the once-more scattered papers and continued to mutter. \u201cStupid, ugly &#8230; can\u2019t stand the smell &#8230; all over my ass for hell\u2019s sake &#8230; Not coming off I bet &#8230;\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The rat for its part lay where it was, its sole movement a slight downward turn of its cheeks and whiskers producing a look that could only be described as pathetic \u2014 if one chose to have sympathy for a rat, that is. And predictably enough, very few people did; the beaver certainly had zero sympathy, empathy, affinity, harmony or anything smacking of fraternity for the bedraggled and flattened rodent. In fact the beaver tended toward outrage, affront, aggrievement, and offence.<\/p>\n<p>The spiders on the ceiling were of course neutral.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>4:20 The first thought the beaver had as his head cleared after the collision was, \u201cOh gross, I&#8217;ve got a rat up my ass!\u201d The second thought was, \u201cOh gross, I\u2019ve got a rat up my ass!\u201d As a result of these two very similar thoughts, the beaver jumped \u2014 in as much as a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/macblaze.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4404"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/macblaze.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/macblaze.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/macblaze.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/macblaze.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4404"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/macblaze.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4404\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/macblaze.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4404"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/macblaze.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4404"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/macblaze.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4404"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}