Getting in Shape…


  • Sleep on the shelf in your closet.
  • Replace the closet door with a curtain. Six hours after you go to sleep, have a friend slip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble “your watch.”
  • Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub and move the showerhead down to chest level.
  • Every time there’s a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you’re nauseous.
  • Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, jump out of bed and get dressed as fast as you can. Then run out into your yard and break out the garden hose. (Practice for setting the anchor again in the rain in the middle of the night.)
  • Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills on your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you pass through them.
  • Every so often throw your cat into the swimming pool, shout “ Man Overboard.”
  • Run into the kitchen and sweep all the pots, pans and dishes off the counter onto the floor, then yell at your spouse for not having “secured the galley.”

I stole this from S/V Felicity’s awesome website. I especially want to try #7

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