Day 8: I feel like a turkey

I dreamed I saw Carmen dangling from a balcony last night. Not sure what it meant but maybe its a sign that something Shakespearean is about to happen… Ooh, scary!

Today I a-salted an innocent. Oh make no mistake, I wanted to rub that smug look off its scrawny countenance, wrap my fingers around its neck and pull. But as previously noted I have given up rubbing for lent, so I just shoved it deep into the salty depths so it would marinate in its own sybaritic evil. Then I made toast.

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The afternoon was spent on the internet, catching up on the news of the world. It is so hard being on holidays and not making those social connections. Why I bet I’ve lost hordes of fans, likes and followers in the mere days I have been off-line. But no matter, a witticism or two today and they will all come scrambling back with egg on their faces. Egg… get it… scrambling with egg… Want me to explain it again?

I am contemplating this evening however. Is it time to renew social contact with real humans. Pedro says yes; I think she’s a bit bored with my mundane scratches and once more wishes to indulge in the sensuousness of being caressed by her adoring masses. Or is that is having her mass adoringly caressed by senseis? Whatever, she is entitle to her own opinion. I must be careful to not allow myself to intrude too quickly on the real world once again. Who know s what kinds of disruptions might occur if i move to hastily: walls turn colours, furniture move, light bulbs droop from upon high… it could spell disaster for… well, for… ummm, for… Look! Squirrel!

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I decided to eat meat. I have learned over the past few years that when in doubt, meat is always the answer. Pork is the panacea, beef good for what ails you, fowl an all-round conditioner and lunch meats for when you need a little mystery to perk you up. Meat: It’s Meaty Goodness. That’s why they call it meat.
I love meat so much, sometimes I try to imagine what being meat must be like. Sigh…meaty meat meat.

I spent a few hours with my meat books going over the possibilities and realized that I had left out one very viable and potent protein source: rabbit. Succulent, spicy, cottontail on spit. And I knew just where to find my little lagomorph… stupid traitorous Catalan she-devil…

BBQ’d bunny is quite the delightful way to bring a long day to a close. sucking on the bones and licking the juicy hare off my fingers. There might be some regret tomorrow, but then again, there are always more rabbits. I mean they breed like… well… rabbits.

OMFG, they are breeding again! Don’t look so scared little one, you are safe from my pot for now…

I closed the day with an hour or so of tv. Pete joined me as we provided our own dialogue to whatever was on. I have to admit the discussion of chenille vs silk was a bit odd as we watched The History of the Jock Strap in the NFL. Still and all it made more sense when the gay wedding dress salesman underlay the rousing argument around the pros and cons of banning cockfighting.

And now off to bed. Night night internet…