I am afraid of Virginia Wolff

Edward Albee. Studio Theatre. I am here.

So here I am at the theatre waiting for the show to begin. Hopefully it will be everything one would expect from a classic. I am ashamed to say I have seen very little of these classics plays. I guess you have to choose between the new works and the old ones.

Act1. Pretty damn good. Albee lives up to his reputation.

Act2. Muthafucker

Act3. There is no whale!

Conclusion: Albee kicks ass.

— Post From My iPod

Multi-day Blog

I think I will waste time blogging from the ‘pod when waiting rather than game playing.

So… day one: Sept 15!
Today I am installing 10.5.5. Always a special time as you wait to see what breaks. Hopefully nothing.

Sept 18
Sitting waiting for my first MRI. Dental. Then surgery. Woof.

I suppose I should be happy that I might get back to a fully functioning mouth.

I’m other news it’s my mom’s false birthday today so I get to call her and explain that I didn’t forget

Sept 19
Turns out it was a CT scan not a MRI. And it turns out it was $1100 in more bone grafting and another 5 months. Blech! Called my mom; I have a great mom if everyone elses reaction is any indication of what her reaction should be to tardy phone calls…

Today is about drugs: mine and hers. Selfmediction is for the birds. It’s all about what the doctor says!

Well I think this post is done. I shall leave you with a picture. Ciao for now…

— Posted From My iPod

On occasion of a tired little girl…

10:20pm * Little Girl

Tell me a story. I can’t sleep

10:21pm * Bruce

Once upon a time there was a little babushka with a tiny green dress… very short.

10:22pm * Little Girl

why did i think you’d be helpful… now keep going.

10:23pm * Bruce

When Raphael the woodcutter spotted her in the woods gathering herbs and mushrooms he immediately thought of his great Uncle Gus the transvestite

10:24pm * Little Girl

oh my! pins and needles.

10:24pm * Bruce

Gus was renowned for his Mata Hari impression of Winston Churchill posing nude for Paul Rubens

10:25pm * Little Girl

of course he was…and then?

10:26pm * Bruce

Raphael immediately took his clothes off, which of course the little babe misconstrued… being a feminist and all. She screamed in high C for approximately 5.39 seconds

10:27pm * Little Girl

big lungs, i suspect.

10:28pm * Bruce

Unfortunately for her the sustained expulsion of air caused her bosom to swell until the tiny green dress could not longer contain it. This the woodcutter immediately misconstrued… being lusty Russo-Spaniard and all…

10:28pm * Little Girl

damn synthetic fibers.

10:29pm * Bruce

So Raphael hid his gaze, raised his sword and ran blushing into the woods… which had of course been chopped down earlier… and thus providing little in the way of protecting his dignity.

10:31pm * Little Girl

small dignity, eh,

10:31pm * Bruce

At that very moment the little baboosh, whose name was Consuela Maria Carmelita Barbara Linda Teena Barberellainski, found a book sitting in a tree

10:32pm * Little Girl

you have to stop! i may laugh to death.

10:32pm * Bruce

It was a biography of Gus Gustaphon, the famous politician and part time transvestite who had once secretly planted all these trees in order to provide natural fibres so he could hand make a new line of clothing for Alsatian midget bisexuals

10:33pm * Little Girl

did not see that coming.

10:33pm * Bruce

At this point Teena was waaaaaay more interested in the idea of natural fibres gently sliding up between her thighs than Rafe’s little dignity

10:34pm * Little Girl

the vixen!

10:35pm * Bruce

The tiny hairs of the woodfibre stocking would caress her with every step. Causing a permanent blush to colour her cheeks and save her hundreds in blush and other makeup related colourants.

10:35pm * Little Girl

practical and kinky.

10:36pm * Bruce

Rafe of course noticed he was no longer the center of attention. This caused his… attention to be not so rigid. “What HO” he shouted indignantly (as he had little dignity left)

Tee glanced up and saw Rafe’s mighty sword. OMFG she thought. Have you been cutting down all the trees with that?

10:37pm * Little Girl

seriously, stop.

10:37pm * Bruce

Huh he replied… I don’t use this thing on trees. It’s much too ….big! I use this… he replied whipping out his broad and shiny man axe

How dare you Teen cried as she ran towards him furious. Do you not know about the history of this once mighty and solid wood!

10:38pm * Little Girl

am i old enough to hear the rest?

10:39pm * Bruce

Why no Rafe replied. Its just that I cum here to visit sometimes and relieve my frustration by swing this axe — and sometimes the sword — around

10:40pm * Little Girl

ah yes, swinging out the frustrations…

10:40pm * Bruce

Why sir, she said demurely her now naked bosom heaving from the exertion of shouting and running at the same time, this is a sacred wood meant to grow fine hairs and not to be plowed by the likes of you

10:41pm * Bruce

This very spot was once the garden of the infamous Gus Gustaphason, my long lost true love who lived many years before I was born. He and only he holds the key to my heart, thighs and other unspecified orifices

10:41pm * Little Girl

nicely done.

10:42pm * Bruce

“Uncle Gus” Rafe exclaimed! He was my genetic identical twin who taught me to swing my first sword in these very woods

10:43pm * Little Girl

me thinks the climax is near

10:43pm * Bruce

Ah cried Te! So you must stop the raping of these bushes so that they may grow and fulfill his fantasies

10:44pm * Little Girl

bring it home.

10:44pm * Bruce

But what of my fantasy says Rafe. I dream of growing a crop of hemp here surrounded by a magic mushroom grove where all can live in peace and harmony, away from the troubles of the evil garment industry and their non organic industrial complex!

10:45pm * Little Girl

wow. if he’s into commune lunches, i know a girl for him…

10:45pm * Bruce

Aaaaah cooed T as she brushed a dogwood twig up and down her thigh, perhaps we can work together to rid the world of synthetics and non-freetrade cotton!

10:46pm * Little Girl

any reason she keeps losing letters along with her inhibitions?

10:47pm * Bruce

Yes declared Raphael. I will use you to plant my seed. My ultimate destiny is to grow my own version of the modern, well-dressed man and you shall be my instrument of destiny.

10:47pm * Little Girl

oh, that old line.

10:48pm * Bruce

Aaaaaaah take me t screamed! and Rafe pulled out his mighty pen and immediately had his way with her future. Writing a contract that forever bound her to his stumps and left her chained to his grove

10:49pm * Little Girl

dirty conformists

10:49pm * Bruce

And with that they had sex, but it was kinda boring, so they went off to join Greenpeace, buy some hemp clothes and forever wonder what could have been if only they had had a good writer like Little Girl or Al or anybody else…

The End

Now you tell it to Al

10:50pm * Little Girl

thanks for indulging me. i will.

10:51pm * Bruce

Tired yet?

10:51pm * Little Girl

no, but something else just as good: happy. g’night to you.

10:52pm * Bruce

ummmm I hope not happy like Tee… Ciao for now

10:53pm Little Girl

Little Girl is offline.

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