pedro the lion is no name for a band

Courtesy of a Facebook exchange with A

pedro the lion is so a puppet…Totally happy until he gets into the fermented gazelle blood and banana margaritas, and then he’s like so all over the chimps for being too bossy and gnawing on the giraffes cause they’re so uppity. And then Chiquita the lioness comes home and chews his ass out and he’s so “oh yah!” and then the neighbours complain and the warthog cops come and he’s gets his butt thrown in jail until Chiquita bails him out so apologetic-like, but you know she just wants something and then the stupid cubs tell him they wrecked his favorite bone and he smashes ’em one but then totally regrets it and the cheetahs rat him out so they take the cubs away and his boss finds out and he’s booted from the pride and …well…you know.

I really feel for poor Pedro…sigh

A New Feature…

Pop lyrics in 2 minutes or less… Go!

I’m not old but my best friend is,
His mini van is full of kids.
I love to rock, he tends bowl,
I’m not old but my best friend is,

Turn it up, crank that sound,
I still want the baddest stereo around.
Don’t give me no blues, no jazz, no soul.
Just good old fashioned loud rock and roll.
Don’t let me worry about bills or politicians.
Don’t confuse my life with some god-filled mission.
My friend he thinks that kids need to be mastered,
but I still remember him totally fu’ in plastered.

I’m not old but my best friend is,
His life is filled by doin biz.
I wanna kick back, he’s worried about taxes ,
I’m not old but my best friend is.

I’m still checkin’ out both old and young ‘uns,
His old lady’s nagging to pick up wheat buns.
I just p’wned his kids at Legendary Halo
while he cracked a brew and reminisced about Mario.
I’ve got plans to escape the mob,
screw the boss and fuck the job.
He wants a review and a salary hike,
so he can afford his mid life crisis, Harley bike.

I’m not old but my best friend is,
He’s planning for tomorrow, whenever that is
I’m thinking if I use that cash, a new guitar will kick fu’ in ass.
I’m not old but my best friend is.

I’m not old but my best friend is.
I stopped counting at 20 cause life just is.

I’m not old but my best friend is.
He’s always got point and it’s always his.

I’m not old but my best friend is.
Maybe tomorrow, or another time that is.

copyright B Timothy Keith

Ok so it took more like 6 minutes…I’m still perfecting the system…